I always wonder how many types of Muslims are there, specially according to the Muslims living in the west. There are the liberal Muslims, there are the moderate Muslims, the not-so-moderate Muslims, those who look moderate but are extremist Muslims, those who look like extremists but are peaceful Muslims and then there are the apologists who are everywhere, on TV, on facebook or on twitter acting like they are the “real Muslims” and that they have found the only right path and that Israel is the true mighty and powerful evil.
On the other hand, according to the Muslims living in the so-called Muslim world the classification is easy, you can know what kind of a Muslim a person is just by looking at how he offers the Salah (prays) or which Masjid (Mosque) he goes to. In case of women it is easier, you actually don’t have to observe the women, you just have to know the sect of her father or husband or in some cases the elder brother. Sometimes the colour of the turban or the way the turban is tied on the head helps too, I personally always liked the green turbans, it looks cool and they never asked me to sign up for Jihad unlike the black turban people who were always interested to make us sign up for Jihad, pack up, go to Kashmir/Afghanistan and meet the 72 virgins waiting for us impatiently.
Those are the places where no Muslims need to be apologetic about what those “Pious and practicing” Muslims do (I mean Osama and the gang, Baghdadi and the brothers and Mullah Umar and the students). In our economically prosperous Muslim world our debates are not about economic growth or about eradicating poverty or about provision of health services, it is about which sect is wrong and which sect is right. As a matter of fact, these are the most important issues, what if one is in the wrong sect? what if you hate the infidels (Shias, Christians, Jews, Russians and of course Indians) less than the others? I did forget one other important issue, we always talk about not using Jewish products (that includes almost everything e.g. Nike, Adidas, Pepsi, Always, Lu biscuits, condoms, Laptops, iPhone, good quality toilet paper, US dollars etc.) and that we should not drink Coca Cola because it reads “No Muhammad, No Makkah” if you read it backwards in Arabic with some customization here and there, and we discuss these while drinking from chilled coke cans.
The sign on the door of our Masjid (Mosque) in Peshawar reads “Bahram main Ahle-Hadith Masjid, believers of other sects may visit their own Masjids, in case of any problem the Masjid committee will not be responsible.”
P.S. Why a picture of Anjem Chaudary on this post? Because I find him stupid and honest.